


The Mountain Reclaimed

by TearaBlackwing



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe- no Kili/Tauriel romance, Angst and Romance, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Badass Reader, Dwarven customs, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Hair Braiding, Hurt/Comfort, Overprotective Dwarves, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 00:36:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21401251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TearaBlackwing/pseuds/TearaBlackwing
Summary: You could now die in peace. The line of Durin would live on. But fate and meddling wizards seem to have a different idea.
Relationships: Thorin Oakenshield/Original Female Character(s), Thorin Oakenshield/Reader
Comments: 25
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

The mountain is reclaimed, Thorin is alive, and Fili and Kili somehow managed to get out of the battle with their lives. I did my job. I could die now. I had wanted to die for a while now and I could think of no better one than coming between an orc and its prey. I paid a price for it. I lost my sword hand, my crafting hand, but it was worth it just to see that orc’s face as I drove my new methril knife through his armor into his heart and twist. He couldn’t hurt Thorin anymore. The orc had knocked him to the ground but did not leave a lethal wound on the King, he was just knocked out. He had a long cut on his leg that I went over and bound his cut with my belt pulling my stump out of the way, my blood was getting everywhere. It was hard to do with one hand but I managed. Once he was taken care of as far as I could achieve I took the leather band out of my hair and tried to tunicate my own forearm. I was losing blood too quickly. I knew my fate.

I did not have many friends within the company except Dwalinand maybe Bilbo will miss me. Dwalin is the one that vouched for me and kept my secret this whole long while that I am in fact a Darrow dame. Bilbo liked me because I was quiet and patient with him. I rarely spoke as my voice would be a giveaway to my sex. I had to think about what I was to say and pitch it lower than what was comfortable. I knew shock was setting in as the cold crept into my soul. I could not stop shaking.

I know I made the right decision to come. No one valued me at home and I was betrothed without my consent to an odious dwarf that had his sights on my family’s wealth and status. I had no regrets in running away. I disguised myself as a Darrow and never looked back. We women folk are so rare that Thorin would have scorned me and told me to go home and find a husband when he met me at Bag End. Dwalin said I was the youngest in the group so no one was too suspicious that only my sideburns had come in and not many look past a dirty face. No one bothered to look at the only ring I wore as a sign of who I really was. Anyway, no one would know now and death was close. I lay down on the ground and my eyes fell closed as I heard another victory shout from the dwarves and could distinctly hear Fili and Kili.

~

I heard a muffled cry, but couldn’t find the strength to open my eyes to see who was disturbing my final rest.

“Y/N!” Oh no, Dwalin had found me. Mahal save me from their attempts of reviving me. It would just cause them more pain when I never woke up. I heard Graybeard the Wanderer mutter something in a tongue that I did not fully recognize. Save me from the God complexes of wizards. I had lost too much blood. He was trying to save a shadow.

“He needs elvish medicine.” I blacked out again.

~

The next thing I knew I awoke in an ornate tent that held all the snootiness of elvish fashion. I tried to sit up, but an elf hand pushed me down.

Thranduil towered over the cot I had been put in and I recoiled from his touch. I knew nothing but pain within his dungeon. I had not been captured by the spiders and was able to stand between his men and my company in full mental capacity and strength with Bilbo keeping himself hid. I must have insulted the wrong person in his guard for I had gotten daily beatings for the impudence of defending my men. I was put in a separate cell and could not see or hear the others. I held him personally responsible for my treatment under his roof.

“Get your hand off me lest you lose it, you gold slobbering elf king.” I spat. He smirked.

“Gold slobbering. Well, that is a new insult. Are you always this charming young lady?” I was not surprised that he knew I was a girl. They probably had me washed at some point and had a few surprises.

“No, I put myself out just for the worst of hosts and one of the most covetous beings I have ever met. You had the opportunity to better your reputation with my people and you threw us in your dank cellar. You then come here demanding payment with the threat of war. The men of Lake Town at least deserve a portion, but not you. You came to swoop in and profit with as little effort as possible. I find you repugnant and the worst king I have ever met.” I sat up against his wishes. “Now, you have the Arkenstone holding it hostage for us to pay you. Take your jewels and get out and may the gold sicknesses take you as it took Thorin, may you never recover.” I snarled. I threw on my leather coat that lay on the chair by my bed to cover myself in the linin trousers and shirt I had been given. It was a little awkward with one hand, but I got it on before making a fool of myself.

“It is a wonder that you are unmarried, Princess (Y/N).” He drawled. I flinched at my title and looked down to find my signet ring… it was missing. Crap.

“It is a bigger wonder that you have not been assonated.” I quipped as I looked for my things quicker. Gandalf wandered in and seemed shocked to see me standing. I was searching for my boots.

“What on earth are you doing out of that bed (Y/N) Firebeard?” He chided while calmly sitting in the chair.

“Getting the hell out of here before the master of brutes and beatings touches me again… Or worse my kinsmen show up.” I put on my fur lined boots gingerly and began looking for my swords and knives.

“Brutes and beatings?” Thranduil seemed to finally take interest in something I said.

“Do you know anything about that drunkard that you put as captain of the guard? He beat me every single night of my long stay in your horrible ‘Guest accommodations’, as you put it. I bet he did the same to the others but you would never hear a word from them.” He looked slightly stunned. “Looks as if you don’t even know what is going on in your own Kingdom. I buckled my belt around my waist and glared at him. Hard to do with one hand, but we dwarves relish a challenge.

“I was unaware of this.” He paced.

“You are either incompetent or a liar, then.” I said while putting away my lucky mithril dagger into the sheath that I had on my left thigh.

“He still saved your life.” Gandalf reminded. My shoulders drooped and I knew I was being unfair, but I was so afraid of being dragged back to the hell I had escaped three winters ago.

“He may have, Greybeard. But I remain slightly ungrateful since my father now knows I am alive... If I have to marry that dwarfish piece of excrement… You have not saved me but condemned me, Graybeard. Death would have been better. ” I was angry and already trying to calculate how far away I could get before one of my kinsmen dragged me home. “How long have I been asleep?” I demanded.

“A week.” Thranduil who was actually looking rather contrite stood near the tent flap. Cat’s teeth, I was going to have to run a lot faster than I wanted.

“I suppose I must thank you for healing me from whatever dark magic that was placed on me, Elf King. I am sorry I yelled at you.” I bowed at him and then strode out of the tent. There was no point in saying goodbye to Gandalf because I did not like him in the slightest. He wandered about and was never where you needed him to be. Dwalin would have to forgive me and Bilbo would hardly care if I said goodbye or not. I needed to get away before the Firebeards of Belegost found me and took me back.

But I was too late. The red flag waved right outside and my kinsmen were here to take me away. A troop of at least twenty of my father’s Darrow surrounded my tent. Dread washed over me as I began to recognize their faces. These were father’s best fighters and most loyal men. I would not be getting out of here.

As I took a step back to go back into the tent when GerickBroadbeam strode forward and cuffed me on my temple. I immediately started fighting for my life again. I was going to lose. I had one arm and had just been awoken from a week long coma. He had me by the nape of my neck and by my dark redhair in a matter of seconds. My feet were off the ground.

“Time to come home.” My stomach rolled as he whispered in my ear. “I see your looks have not improved, shame that.” He looked pointedly at my missing arm and my distinct lack of facial hair.

“I see your manners haven’t either.” I tisked. He shook me and my scalp screamed. He chuckled as I scratched at his hand with my nails in a feeble attempt to get him to release me.

“It is time we were on our way, now that I have my fiancé we can leave.” He turned his head to look at the group of my father’s men.

“Are you not going to say goodbye to the King of Erebor?” I would recognize that voice anywhere as our stubborn leader. I tried to turn my head, but I was hanging by my hair and did not want to aggravate a man that already left multiple scars on me. He dropped me like a sack of potatoes. I crumpled to the ground aching all over.

“Is that anyway to treat a lass or a lady that you deem to be you fiancé?” Dwalin’s voice boomed in the small clearing.

“She is my property. The bride price has been paid in full.” Gerick stepped over my crumpled body. By Broadbeam law he was right. Darrow Dames under their law had no rights and were only used to breed. My parents knew this and signed the agreement anyway. The price for me had been very good.

“She is a princess of Belegost and a Firebeard. She is no one’sproperty.” Thorin took several paces forward to get in Gerick’s face. Thorin towered over the lesser dwarf. “I invoke Ranker.”

“Ranker?!” Gerick howled lifting his axe threating Thorin. Thorin didn’t even blink.

My mind reeled as the yelling match broke out. Ranker could only be invoked when a bride was being fought over. Women folk are rare in the Dwarven race. Ranker is a duel between the intended and a challenger whoever wins gets the woman. It is a battle of strength and if the intended lost he was not strong enough, nor capable of protecting his bride. It is rather barbaric and has not been used since the First Age of Middle Earth. But the challenger had to marry the woman if he won… why was Thorin challenging?! I staggered to my feet and tried to look for a place to hide. Maybe the earth would do me a favor and open up and swallow me.

Dwalin had me by my left arm tugging me into the company that I had grown to quietly love for the past six months.

“You should have told us sooner, lassie.” Balin scolded.

“As if you all would have accepted me if I had.” Balin ground his teeth, but said no more. Fili and Kili looked as if I had slapped them both.

“We cannot believe that you did not trust us enough to tell us!” They cried in unison.

“I was there to do a job. That job was to make sure that the line of Durin was not snuffed out by dragon or any other evil thing before the mountain was reclaimed. Your mother was the only lady who ever showed me any kindness. I thought I could return the favor. I do trust you all, but you would have sent me packing as soon as you knew.” They opened and closed their mouth’s like banked fished, their denials stillborn. Girls were precious and treasured, therefor risky adventures were strictly out.

Thorin and Gerick circled each other with their chosen weapons. I was unsurprised to see Orcrist in Thorin’s hand and even more so to see how well Thorin has healed in a week. There wasn’t even a trace of a limp in his steps. But all the same I felt worry sweat break out in the palm of my hand. If he lost, his life could be forfeit as were the rules of Ranker. He has put too much on the line. He has said over and over that Fili was his heir, but he was acting too recklessly. I was one, slightly royal, dwarven lass. If I died the world would not morn me. I would be erased from history in a trice. Thorin on the other hand was King under the mountain, welder of Orcrist and the leader of our company. The world would indeed care.

“He is not going to lose, lass.” Dwalin said as he noticed my hand gripping my jacket.

“It really doesn’t matter either way.” I said. “Neither one of them like me, let alone want to marry me. Thorin is doing this out of some twisted since of pride and honor. As for Gerick… he just wants what he paid handsomely for.” I shuddered. I didn’t care who won, I was going to run as soon as I had the chance to escape. I shouldn’t have to be forced to marry either one of them. I am an independent Darrow; I have proven I can take care of myself I do not need a husband to do those things for me. 

Gerick made the first strike. His brow was sweaty and his eyes looked manic. I truly wanted no part of this. My feet began to back up of their own volition. Gerick terrified me. I would rather face Smaug or battle all the orcs in middle earth, or even Melkor himself. At least my death would be quick at their hands. My intended would make sure that I would live a tortured life. I shamed him for three years… he would make me feel it for the next three hundred.

Thorin looked almost bored he was holding back as Gerick was going full swing and shouting like a crazed troll. His confidence was mesmerizing and daunting all at the same time. If Thorin won the bout, how was I ever to refuse the king under the mountain? I did not deserve him. He needed a real dwarven lady, not this coarse runaway.

As Gerick made a risky overhead move Thorin used Orcrist to flick his feet out from under him. Gerick’s axe fell out of his arm’s reach and he raised his hands to his face in a pathetic attempt to shield himself. Orcrist was at his throat.

“Take your men and go, Gerick Broadbeam. She is to never see you again. If I even hear of a murmur that you are anywhere around Erebor I shall have you hunted down, gutted, and fed to the crows. Is that understood?” Thorin’s voice was nearly a growl.

Gerick nodded furiously.

“I said, ‘is that understood!?’” Thorin barked.

“Yes, your highness.” Gerick whimpered.

“Now leave, before I change my mind.” Thorin turned his back on Gerick and a chill went down my spine. I ran forward. Thorin looked so confused as I ran toward Gerick. But my shoulder intercepted the knife that would have gotten Thorin in the back. It did not slow me down. I tackled him to the ground and placed my knee upon his throat. His legs feebly tried to get me off but I had his arms pinned with my right leg and left hand.

“Know this Gerick Broadbeam. I will never be yours. I will never fear you again. If you come at my men, my friends again I will flay you like the lily livered coward that you are. May you never find a single treasure to call your own, may you never find a hall to call your home.” I cursed him and then applied pressure to his throat. He fell unconcise. I stripped him of his remaining weapons. He would never use them again.

I staggered to my feet and walked to Thorin. I knelt and placed Gerick’s weapons at his feet and then looked to Oin.

“I am going to need some help with this knife.” I pointed at the small boot knife that had been slowed down a little by my thick fleece lined jacket. I tried to smile, but it hurt too much. I cursed myself yet again for being born a female and the fact that if I were male I would have barely felt the pin prick of Gerick’s knife.

They had not seen the knife hit. I had not made a sound when it happened. The entire company lurched toward me. The knife had luckily gotten my right shoulder as there was not much I could have done with it anyway. What are a few more torn tendons connecting to a useless stump?

Thorin looked panicked and he knelt beside me as I swayed from more blood loss. I had never seen him look scared in the last six months, though there were plenty of opportunities. I suppressed a giggle that it would be such a small knife that was causing so much dismay. It was probably the shock setting in again.

“Make sure that they stay down next time, my king.” I grit out as someone applied pressure around the knife wound. I looked him in the eye and I could have sworn that he smiled. Oin pulled the knife out and a shriek escaped my lips. His smile was gone as fast as it came. I was hoisted back into the elvish tent and placed back on the bed that I just vacated no more than ten minutes before. I was irritated to say the least.

“She leaves my sight for a few minutes and you have already let her get injured.” Thranduil was by the bed in seconds and took over for a very annoyed Oin. I was stitched and the wound bound in a matter of two minutes. The entire process felt like I was being stung by a thousand bees and I wanted to kick the king of the woodland realm until he was black and blue. I was then given a draft of something smelly by Oin who very sternly forced me to swallow it all.

“I have had bile taste better.” I remarked but my words seemed all slurry and my head spun.

“It is to help you sleep and heal, my lady.” Oin said as he double checked the perfect binding that Thranduil had done. I could have sworn that I saw the elf roll his eyes.

As my eyes started to feel very heavy I saw Thorin in the chair by my bed. His face was screwed into his signature scowl and his eyebrows spoke foreboding. I reached out and tapped his hand to reassure him that he was worrying over nothing, but I fell asleep before I could take my hand back.


	2. Talks of Things Past

I startled awake from a nightmare of Gerick dragging me down a deep tunnel after he killed everyone in the company as I watched. The first thing I noticed was I was no longer in the elf tent. The second was I was sweating like a pig and must have screamed because a door burst open opposite me. Dwalin and Kili tumbled through the door. They looked half asleep and threadbare tired. 

“Are you alright, (Y/N)?” Kili asked as he came to my bed. His face was panicked.

“It was just a bad dream.” I tried to reassure him and put my hand awkwardly on his arm only to remember that my right arm was missing. That is depressing. Unbidden tears stung my eyes and it took much more effort than normal to squash them down. I placed my left hand on the sleeve of his tunic after a few seconds.

“I shall go tell Thorin that you are finally awake.” Dwalinmarched right back through the door. Good to see you too.

“I will go get you some food. It has been a while since you have eaten.” Kili made to stand but I tightened my hold on his sleeve.

“Please stay. It will take some time for my stomach to awake with the rest of me. What have I missed? How long was I out for this time?” If I slept for a week last time, there was no telling how long I could have been out this time; apparently I a lightweight when it comes to medicine.

“It has only been a day plus a few hours.” He finally smiled at me. His blue eyes still looked tired but he looked more like himself than he had the last time I saw him.

“A day is better than a week.” I let out a sigh of relief.

“So much has happened though. Uncle has made peace with andmen. Dain has been dealt with and the elves are to have their meeting tomorrow to discuss peace. Your father sent a nasty note, but Uncle took care of him too. The rebuilding process is already underway.” He was babbling and my mind was reeling.

“Hold on. He is making peace with the Elves?! After everything we went through!” I nearly jumped out of the bed to go give him a piece of my mind, but my shoulder ached.

“It was the least he could do to thank them for saving his betrothed.” Kili looked at me as if I was crazy.” Oh, yeah…that was a thing.

“Thorin will never go through with it.” I said rolling my eyes. I lacked a beard, I fought like a male, and I was a runaway. Plus I was missing my crafting arm. No one was going to want me.

“Never go through with it?! The dwarf has been beside himself since you were carried to the elves the first time.” He stood up suddenly and placed both of his hands on the bed and looked at me stunned.

“Kili, you are very gallant, but look at me. I have no beard to braid. I swear like a drunken Darrow. I lack all the accomplishment that a suitor to the line a freaking Durin should have.” Thorin for all of his faults deserved the very best.

“You and Bilbo saved our lives multiple times.” He was pacing at this point, very agitated.

“And that counts for what exactly?! I basically assisted Bilbo the entire time. I did what all of you would have done in the situation. ” I shrugged. He laughed.

“None of us did though. You defended Bilbo after the troll situation. You tried to warn everyone that the cave we were in was not where we needed to be. You came between Thorin and a warg during the skirmish with the trees. You patched us up after on the knoll of the Eagles. You warned us not to drink the water in the woods and told us to stay on the path. You fought off a hoard of spiders and then were the only one with a clear mind to speak with the elves.” He looked as if those instances justified me as a worthy match for the King of Erebor

“I was just following orders on two of those. Secondly, what kind of dwarf would I be if I let my fellows die without at leastinterrupting? ”

“My point is: that none of us did those things. You did. You, though you might not be aware of it, singlehandedly saved the entire line of Durin. You got both Fili and I out of some very tight spots during the battle. You saved Thorin from certain death at the hand of that orc. Not to mention you were one of the reasons Thorin got over his gold sickness. Or have you forgotten that you were the only one brave enough to go over and slap him multiple times and tell him that he was the worst king ever after he tried to kill Bilbo. Your speech made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. For starters I don’t think any of us had heard you speak so much. You bested him and beat some sense into him while all the rest of us were too afraid to do so.” He sat back down as if that solidified the fact that Thorin would go through with it.

“That last part hardly commends me, Kili.” I had smacked him upside the head and yelled at him for his foolishness and told him that it was a good thing he wasn’t my king I would be ashamed if he was. I told him that he was worse than any dragon and did not deserve all of these fine Darrow who were willing to risk their lives for such a greedy boy who would turn on a friend who saved his life. I then yelled at the rest calling them cowards for not speaking up on his horrible gold cursed behavior. I then grabbed my sword and prepared for battle. I put my head in my hand and blushed at how I berated the king of Erebor…my betrothed.

“I did not appreciate it at the time but it is what I needed to be told.” Thorin’s deep voice tickled my ear. I do not know how I did not hear Thorin come into the room but he was suddenly in Kili’s place at the edge of the bed. And Kili nowhere to be seen.I jumped with fright and it jarred my shoulder leaving me in the odd position of wanting to run away but totally out of breath from pain to do so.

“Easy there.” He gently pushed me back onto the pile of pillows so I was lying down again. Fear spiked as lying down is a vulnerable position and with one I was not comfortable with. 

“I’d much rather sit up, my king.” I tried only for his hand to push me back down.

“Are you always so stubborn?” He asked with a small smile on his lips. He looked much softer when he smiled. It had only happened a few times in the last six months, but each of them had stopped me in my tracks for a second. None of the others had been directed at me and I found that I was stunned stupid. I blinked realizing that he had asked me a question that I nearly had forgotten about.

“Yes.” The honest answer slipped out. A blush quickly took over my face as I remembered what the question was. He chuckled.

“I am such a blind fool. You were in my company for six months and I never thought…” He just looked at me intently and I felt the blush go a deeper shade.

“I have been doing it for three years, Thorin. My own mother would have hardly recognized me.” Smiled bashfully and fidgeted with the blanket slightly uncomfortable under his stare. He was staring at me like I was some great beauty sent by Mahal himself.

“Would you tell me why you ran away from Belegost?” He blindsided me with the question totally destroying the fragile state of calm that he had made with his smile.

“I would think the answer would be clear since you met my former betrothed.” My shoulders tensed and I looked away from him.

“A lady has right to refuse a suit if she deems him undesirable.”I tried not to laugh mirthlessly at that.

“That may be true in Erebor or in Erid Luin, but not in Belegost, my king. A lady may refuse… a princess may not. We are bound in honor to our people above all else, is what we are told. We are to take who ever might benefit our country. If I were to simply run away and marry another for the sake of my heart, he would be killed and my marriage nullified by his death. A princess is merely breeding stock for the rich and those that wish to social climb.” I grit my teeth. I apparently did not love my people enough to marry that wastrel of a fop that was Gerick Broadbeam. I just couldn’t bring myself to. I shuddered at the memory of running and hiding until Dwalin found me outside of Erid-Luin nearly two years in to my flight. I had been living in an old troll hole. I lived off the land and he ran afoul of a wolf pack out for blood. We fought side by side and he invited me back with him, but I refused. More people meant hiding my secret would be harder. I stayed where I was until Dwalin told me about the quest for Erebor.

“That is not how a princess should be treated.” His voice was sad and angry at the same time. I looked at him and tried to smile, but it only wobbled and fell back into the resigned frown. He then gently put his hand on mine and I forced back the impulse of flinching away that was ingrained into my nature at this point. His big callused hands wrapped over mine and for once it felt safe to let someone touch me.

I leaned back into the bed content for the moment. I finally looked him in the eye and found that he was looking at my throat. The large tunic I had been given had shifted and some of my scars could be seen on my collarbone. I quickly pulled the collar forward and felt the blood drain from my face. I did not want to answer any questions. Only the shamed were beaten as I was. I was branded for life.

“May I take a bath in the foreseeable future?” I wanted to change the subject and I did not look at him.

“Do not think that that conversation can be avoided, Gervishel.” His voice went cold. He looked murderous and I pulled myself away from him. The safe feeling was shattered and I recoiled back into myself. I withdrew my hand from under his and made to get out of the bed on the opposite side of him.

“I think it can.” I did not realize I was shaking.

He was already to the side that I tried to escape on. He did not crowd me, but there was no way of getting around him.

“Let me pass.” I hated that my voice shook as I looked to the floor.

“Not until you tell me who did this to you. Who hurt you?” He folded his arms over his broad chest.

“The scars are old, my king, and are of no concern.” I was looking at the frayed carpet on the floor of my assigned room.

“But it does concern me.” He placed his hand on the bed. He waited a few moments more and asked again, “Who did this?” After a few moments of silence he took a tentative step forward. He was much larger than me and even though it was a small step

“My family had it done.” I felt a rebellious tear escape my resolve. 

“Why would they do such a thing?” He asked as he took another step closer.

“I refused him.” I studied the ground again.

“So they beat you?” He now stood before me just in my personal space. I leaned away from him.

“If that were all I would have born it; I am not so weak as to flinch at a simple beating.”

“That is not a simple beating, but what else did they do to you?” He sat on the bed.

“Why must I divulge my shaming? Why must I tell you that they tore out my growing sideburns and shaved off my hair? Or that they demolished every one of the carvings and statues that I had made? How is this any of your business?” I spoke clearly and brought my eyes to the level of his chest. Those acts of shaming were reserved for murders and adulterers.

“They destroyed all of them?” He looked livid. I nodded. All of the jewelry I had made was melted down and the gems I had carved out of hope and a dream of love were sold.

A Dwarven lass’s creations were used as gifts to give to her intended during her courting as her dowry. To have them all destroyed was to disown her and make her unable to, or unlikely to marry anyone. Firebeard ladies were not allowed to own their own crafting materials and were reliant upon male relatives to secure the things they needed to court whomever they wished. But if their relative disapproved of their choice he would simply not give the asked for supply. Free choice was a mere façade so that other dwarf clans would not meddle in Firebeard affairs. Yes, you could choose who you married as long as they were acceptable to your family. Heaven forbid that you wished to marry beneath your station…or for love alone.

“Tell me all of it.” I fidgeted with my thick nightgown and picked up a dressing gown. It was hardly seemly to be in this state of undress to be alone with a male…even if he was your fiancé. When I had my feeble barrier in place I answered. 

“I refused him when I caught him stealing from my families forges. I am a female and therefore cannot bring it as a case to court since my testimony does not count. I was beaten for it. He brought forth his suit again. I refused. My hair was shaved and my face was waxed of the little hair I had, it has yet to grow back. Ever persistent, he came again to press his suit. I refused. My dowry was melted in front of me as well as all of my gifts for my future husband. I was then left alone with Gerick and he tried to force himself on me. I barely got out of there. I ran, changed my name, and pretended to be a Darrow ever since.” My eyes were fixed on the corner furthest away from Thorin.

“Thank you for telling me.” His face was in all Thorin-esq broody mode glory and I didn’t want his pity. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Since you practically demanded it as king, how could I refuse you?” I was a far away from him as I could manage.

“It wasn’t my intention…” He tried to reach for my hand, but I pulled it behind my back.

“It never is.” I cut him off. “You are now my betrothed, although I never consented to such. You have invoked the old laws and now you must keep them or be seen as a king that changes his mind with the tide. I know what happens to kings that are seen as weak by their people. I know the cost of my freedom from my old life, Thorin Oakensheild.” I just wanted to cry for the next year. I felt sick. I was chained even more tightly than the last, toyet another dwarf that did not love me.

“I am sorry that I am not what you wanted.” He spoke solemnly.

“You are the best of dwarves, my king, if a bit impetuous and stubborn. But I am not fit for you. I do not have anything to give, or a crafting arm to make anything I might. I have no family that would own me other than to sell me off. It is just me.” I took a breath to slow down my flow of words. “I tired telling Kili this, but you need a queen. I am not a queen. I am a disgraced princess at best.” I looked him in the eye as I spoke. He was not at fault to my failings. He raised his hand to my face and I nearly squeaked for there was nowhere for me to run. I only realized after I flinched that he was just going to put some of my short hair behind my ear. He stopped in mid motion and I saw that I had hurt him somehow.

“You are afraid of me.” his eyes looked sadder than I had ever seen them.

“I do not like having anyone in my personal space.” There was a spark of understanding in his eyes as if he just noticed how close he was to me and how I was backed into a corner.

“I am sorry.” He got up from sitting on the bed and strode to the door. He turned and faced me.

“I will not drop my claim just, yet as I am afraid your family will force you then to marry Gerick. I must say that I also do not want to. I think you would make a perfect queen, (Y/N). I think you are worth more than a mountain full of mithril. I only ask for you to give me a chance, my lady. If I am not to your liking I will let you go where ever you should wish totally free from retribution from me and from your family pressing Gerick’s suit.” Thorin formally bowed and then exited the room just as Bomber was entering with a plate full of food that I knew I was not going to be able to eat. I was going to send him away until I saw all the others were bringing trays in. I guess we are eating breakfast together. My brain was still reeling from what Thorin said and I was no longer hungry.

He did not want to resend his claim. He wanted me as I was. What nonsense. I have nothing to give where as he has everything. He is now the most eligible bachelor in all of middle earth. I felt sick. I crawled back into the goose feather bed and wanted to die. I pulled my thick blanket over my head and wanted them all to leave. The cover was yanked back down so my face could be seen by Dwalin.

“Oy!” I nearly launched myself at him in a fury. He looked smug when the sudden movement to scratch his eyeballs out caused me to be dizzy.

“You have to eat.” Pressed Bofur who appeared at my elbow. I glared at him and his silly hat.

“None of that now, you must eat and you must rest.” Oin scolded as he placed tray with a bowl of broth over my legs and fluffed the pillows so I was sitting up in bed. Dwalin sat at the foot and Bofur sat to my right. The rest sat on the thick carpet

“I am not particularly hungry.” I poked at the broth as my stomach turned at the smell.

“We want none of your cheek. We brought the breakfast hall to you to make sure you actually ate. We know that when it got rough on the trail that you would eat last and even give some of your food to Ori and Kili. Oin here said that you are practically skin and bone when he examined you on the battle field. Now, be a good lass or we will have Dwalin sit on you while Bofur spoons the broth into your mouth.” Balin came through the door and took the blue velvet arm chair to the left of me

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Wouldn’t we?” Fili and Kili chose that moment to waltz through the door and plop their scrawny butts on the foot of the bed with Dwalin. They would.

I poked at the bowl with the wooden spoon and raised it to my mouth and tried not to smell it as I sipped it. It was good and I slowly ate the rest still fearing that it might come back up. Oin passed me the smallest piece of bread and I used it to soak up the rest of the broth.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a half-crazed betrothed wing-bat looking for you, lass?” Dwalin growled at the end of the bed.

“Maybe I didn’t want you to go challenge him to a duel and die.” I said while nibbling on my bread.

“It didn’t look like Thorin had too much of a problem taking him down.” Fili remarked also looking angry with me. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose with my hand.

“He would not have actually dueled Dwalin. He would have laughed and ordered his men kill you. So no, I did not tell you that I was promised to a wing-bat, Dwalin. I liked you too much for that. Plus they would have found me after that. They are not above torturing to get the information that they need. So, I was fine where I was and happy to go on this quest when asked.” I was getting rather tired of them questioning my motives. I know I had been keeping secrets, but it is not as if I kept them to purposely hurt any of them.

“You are too practical for your own good.” Kili rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I am practical enough to know that to stay in the company I couldn’t be a girl. Practical enough to know that loyalty aside I have a large bounty on my head put there by my father and betrothed. Heck, I would turn me in.” I plonked my empty bowl down on the tray exasperated with them all.

“Did you not trust us?” asked Ori softly from his corner of the carpet. I forced the lump out of my throat at how hurt he sounded.

“I love you all as dear brothers, but no, not in this matter.” I answered honestly. I wanted very much to run away as they all looked at me as if I had slapped them in the face.

“Why? What parts of our characters were questionable to you?” Balin inquired stroking his beard as he was apt to do when confused.

“It was a matter of your tempers and your sense of honor. You all would have been hell bent on making sure that they paid for what they did and I could not watch as they tore you all apart. I knew from the moment we all met that I couldn’t bear to be the reason for more trouble to befall you. You had no home already. You had a quest already. I would not distract you. You are all too stubborn and if you even sniffed the fact that I was the missing princess of Belegost you would wheedle it out of me. I apologies for my secrecy, but it wasn’t meant as an offence.” I could not sit on the bed anymore and pushed the tray off my legs and stood by my bed to address them all. They still looked sad and angry, but I had explained myself as best as I could.

“I am going to take a bath and I will murder anyone who tries to stop me.” I said not looking any of them in the eye.

“Wouldn’t dream of it…you smell fair worse than a toll hole.” Kili mutter loud enough for the whole group to hear.

“At least I don’t have any parasites.” I scoffed eyeing the two young princes. Fili and Kili smirked at each other and chuckled. I left to an avalanche of laughter.


	3. Idiotic Elf King

A pretty Darrow dame had followed me as soon as I left the room and informed me that she was my assigned maid named Jade. Thorin had chosen her for the job. I kept myself from rolling my eyes at the poor girl. I never had much use for a maid even when I was a princess. She was going to be excessively board. But that did not stop her from showing me the way to the baths and providing me a towel and comb for my crow’s nest that once was my tidy hair. I dismissed Jade as I never liked to be exposed to anyone especially now that I was nearly covered in scars. I checked the knife wound from earlier and a bath would not do it any harm… and if it did I would at least be clean for my funeral. I unbound it and set the soiled bandages aside.

I couldn’t bring myself to look in the mirror. Instead I quickly threw off the dressing gown and night dress and slipped into the wonderfully hot water. I let myself submerge in the hot spring tub and felt all of my muscles relax for what felt like the first time in six months.

After what felt like an hour of scrubbing, lathering, and scraping the last six months of travel and war off me, I got out. I was not near as bad I had been hoping. I could only assumed that someone had given me a sponge bath while I was unconscious. That did not sit well with me as it was probably one of the company. To take my mind off of that thought I wrapped myself in a fluffy warm towel and began the trial that would be detangling my hair. Half way through the snarls I contemplated just shaving my head and just starting over, but the whole mountain would be mortified if I did that. Not to mention that Thorin would be questioned as my betrothed as to why I had shaved my head. To cut ones hair was bad enough but to shave one’s head or beard was the height of shame. I sighed deeply and continued my slow work.

The Jade returned as I fought the battle of a large snarl at the base of my neck. I could not get the right leverage to get it out with only one hand.

“Let me help you, my lady.” She very calmly took the comb from my hand and the tangle began to unravel under her ministrations in a matter of seconds. I wanted to cry in frustration. I couldn’t even do the simple task of combing my hair.

With a sigh I resigned myself and closed my eyes to the soothing sensation of having someone else comb my hair. She was very gentle and put my shoulder length now tangle free hair in a triple braid. I would have to teach myself how to do my own hair again. It was hard enough with two hands.

“I think I have something in the healer’s area that can help with your scars, my lady.” She was looking pointedly at the scars she could see on my shoulders. Her eyes said that she pitied me.

“That would be rather superficial of me, when so many are still in the sick bay. No, I have lived with them long enough to be accustomed to them. Thank you for the offer, though.” She nodded. I did not want to erase my past and it felt wrong to take away the scars that signaled the beginning of my escape. Besides, I was never much of a looker anyway. I shrugged and looked for my nightdress. It was gone. I should have known.

Just then Jade came out of the other room with a nice Durin blue dress that laced in the front before I could ask where my things had gone. I guess I was back to wearing dresses. She tutted at me as I tried to tell her I did not need her assistance. She then told me that Ori was outside to check on the knife wound and to rebind it. I got my new small clothes on and normal assortment of other undergarments on as she went to fetch him. I had more layers on then when I awoke in the elven tent, but I did not want to be seen to, now that I had the choice. But Ori wouldn’t stand for insubordination. I’ll endure it I suppose.

Oin entered the room as I sat on the stone bench by the tub. He spoke in Khuzdul and asked me where I hurt and poked at me occasionally to see if it was sore. It was very tender around the stump that used to be my arm, but the knife wound was not as deep as to warrant much fuss. But it would be another nice scar to add to my ever growing collection, though. After he bandaged my knife wound he passed me a few tonics and told me to drink them before each meal and one to help me sleep. He had done that for me on the quest as I was basically an insomniac after our first run in with goblins. He only noticed when we got to Beorn’s house that I was still up keeping watch. Oin had drugged me then for the rest of our stay at his house and it was the best sleep I had in three years. I took the vials without complaint.

Oin warned me to keep this bandage dry and to take it easy for a few days. He knew I healed quickly but it was no reason to be cavalier with my health. I rolled my eyes as he smiled crookedly as he took his leave.

“The king says that once you are presentable, to go to the meeting rooms where treaty talks are underway with the elves and the people of Laketown.” Jade informed me as I turned back toward where my room was situated. She could have told me sooner, but I would just have to bare it.

The mountains halls were vast and confusing and I doubt I would ever get used to them even if I lived here for a hundred years. I would need a maid just to navigate the halls, it would seem. I followed Jade and set my mind on the task of keeping Erebor self- sufficient. We would need our own gardens and orchards. We are dwarves and should not rely on the merchants for all of our food. I had already thought of a few things that I noticed in Hobbiton and Bree that could be implemented into practice when we arrived at the conference door. Jade knocked and it flew open. Fili looked about ready to punch someone and when I peeked in I knew who had riled him up into a fever pitch. Thrandual sat opposite Thorin and his smug elven face would make anyone’s fist itch to resituate his nose.

The air was tense and even Dain sat quiet. Everyone was waiting for the first person to strike. I sighed and rolled my eyes. I pushed past my frozen maid and cleared my throat noisily.

“Would someone please get me up to speed?” My arms were folded across my chest and I looked pointedly at the two kings. I startled both of them. Balin spoke first.

“We are discussing passage for merchants through the elves forest. Thranduil says that he will have to be compensated greatly to keep that road clear of spiders and other dark creatures. We were about to start haggling.” A ghost of a smirk played on Balin’s face who knew full well that it was about to become a full on shouting war.

“Hummm…it seems to me that you have an internal problem that you should see to before you even discuss trade with us, Sir. If you cannot see to your own lands then why should we bother negotiating with you? We would be better off negotiating with the spiders or even the necromancer himself. You have been paid for your troubles with the dragon and for assisting with our cause. As far as I can tell you are unneeded here, elf king. However, if you require help in routing spiders and orcs from your own land we will be happy to assist…at a price.” I took the empty chair by Thorin’s side. Thranduil’s eyes flickered and I knew I had him. “Now what do you really want? Ah, it is those shiny jewels that you claim we stole from you, is it?” The elf king was livid. The group of dwarves at the table looked on as if I had sprouted another head.

“You did steal them.” He seethed.

“What, I personally stole them?! I have not been alive nearly long enough for that to be the case. Yeah, our kinsmen were a bunch of louts that needed to be put in their place, but how dare you make us personally pay for the mistakes of our ancestors.You made them pay plenty as I recall. We have compensated you for our personal shortcomings why should we have to pay a debt that has been several of our lifetimes old? Have you not been paid enough?” He scoffed and looked down at me condescendingly.

“Paid enough…the merger sum that you have bestowed upon us is nowhere near the price of the Simiril necklace that your ancestors stole.” He leaned back in the chair. He may have been beautiful, but his heart was just as black as any orc’s.

“I am not talking ancient history. I am talking about personal injury to you. How about all the lives of the dwarves that you turned your back on when Smaug attacked Erabor? How about all of the deaths of the refugees you to spurned? You refused them food on the brink of winter. If those were not enough there were plenty more wars and battles fought over your stupid bauble. So many dead over a mere adornment, you made us pay in lives enough, Thranduil of the woodland realm.” I whispered. I stood from the table. I was liable to cut his throat if I did no leave soon… I did not care that he saved my life, he had been compensated accordingly. His voice stopped me in my tracks before I even reached the door.

“How long will you dwarves hoard what is not rightfully yours!? You brought upon the dragon with your own greed!” He shouted.

“Is that why another dragon attacked you first then?” I did not look behind me. I knew of the scars that he bore and the wife that he lost to a dragon. He was silent. “You will find that your son has the Simiril necklace you so desperately seek, sir. I tookit as my payment and well before the battle started I had Bilbo give it to your princeling. I would leave now if I were you, or do you wish to further discuss trade with the good Darrow here?” I put my hand on the door.

“Why did you not tell me sooner? I would have…”He fumbled.

“Would have…what? Been nicer, more likely to help…” I snapped cutting him off. “I doubt it. You would have found something else to complain about. Whoever said that the hearts of men are easily corrupted has not had the misfortune to meet an elf like you. You are more treasure mad than any dwarf I have ever seen.” He started swearing in elvish…something about my inbred heritage and questionable species of my mother… she might have been a cave troll; she certainly had the temper of one. I was unimpressed.

“That is enough!” Thorin bellowed. He caused Thranduil to jump and me to flinch. “We will find a different route of trade, King Thanduil. We have already signed the peace treaty with you and your people, so we have nothing further to discuss. You may stay for dinner, if you wish as I am sure you will want to stay for the first feast of Erabor.” Thorin rose from the table causing a chain reaction for the other dwarves to get up. He bowed to the elf king and said no more as he walked toward the door and consequently, me.

I speedily walked out the door to avoid the tongue lashing that I was sure to get. The jewels that I took as my portion of treasure were nearly as valuable as the Arkenstone. They were a Simiril that in the past the great dwarven craftsmen cut into beautiful star shapes on commission from Thranduil’s relative to make into a necklace for his daughter’s dowry. The dwarves kept it because the elf king at the time would not pay them for their labor of not only the necklace but countless other gold and silver projects. The elf king at the time came and killed the craftsmen and was consequently killed by the other dwarves of the mountain. The necklace was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen, to be sure, but it had caused a war between dwarves and elves. I wished the mountain rid of it and gave away our second largest bargaining tool. I was going to be yelled at for sure…if not more. I had presumed too much.

“Y/N!” Thorin was stalking after me and he looked as murderous as he had under the gold sickness. I dashed down a different hall and was already helplessly lost. I had a flash back for my father doing much the same before I was punished severely as a child. I threw open the nearest door to find a very ornate sitting room…I had stumbled into the royal wing. I swore under my breath and ensconced myself into the window seat and pulled the large curtain over so I could not be seen immediately. My heart was beating so fast and I was trying to calm my breathing. I held my breath as the door that I had just dashed through was thrown open by the very person I was trying to avoid.

“If you think that you can hide from me in my own chambers, you are sorely mistaken.”

Shit.

I did not want to, but I pulled back the curtain and faced him. It was better to get it over with than to draw it out and make him angrier. I wanted to cry for some inexplicable reason and I fought the tears down. I looked at the very soft carpet that seemed to be untouched by Smaug’s defilement. I guess the royal wing was spared from his odious touch as the corridors were too small for his large ass to fit. I looked at Thorin’s boots. They were new and shiny and the best quality, nothing less for the king. He was no longer just Thorin...he was king and I had messed up.

“I know I ruined so many things. I am sor…”

“You did well.” He interrupted. I looked up startled. I had yelled at a more than slightly hostile dignitary of whom we were trying to make peace with. I had called him stupid and greedy to his face. I did not do well. “You made him see just how much an ass he was. He needs to look to his own borders rather than keep pestering us over a millennia old feud. You and that blasted hobbit are the best things this mountain has seen in a while.” He chuckled quietly. “We dwarves have held that for far too long. In resentment, but it was hurting us more than them… so pointless. Thank you for returning it to them we have troubles enough without adding addle minded elves to the mix. Sorry for stalking after you…I have to keep up the pretext that you were going to be in trouble for everyone else. But in fact I could not be more proud.” He smiled. Frick. I looked away and hoped I wasn’t blushing again.

I wasn’t in trouble. I could feel the relief seep into my body and I sunk back into the window seat. I put my head in my hands and thanked the Valar that I did not incur the wrath of Thorin Oakenshield, the king under the mountain, yet again in a twenty-four hour period. I would have set a new record even for his nephews. 

“I did not mean to frighten you.” His hand was on my shoulder and I realized that I was shaking from the adrenaline overload that he had spiked. I inwardly cursed myself. I could not seem to keep my reactions in check as of late and I was getting increasingly annoyed. He also seemed to forget that I did not like people in my space. I slowly moved my right shoulder away from his touch under the pretext of fixing my rumpled skirts.

“You are bleeding!” He said. Shoot, I must have popped a stich swinging into the window seat. “I will let the guard fetch Oin.” He practically ran for the door where Dwalin stood guard outside.

“Oh, He is not going to be pleased.” I muttered as I put pressure on it. I had already bled through the nice dress and I began wondering if I could get the stain out when he was back and pulling a chair in front of me. He put his hand over mine adding more weight than I thought was necessary to the wound. I allowed his nearness, just this once.

I took this moment to really look at him as he was distracted and probably wouldn’t notice that I was studying him. He had several white hairs in his eyebrows already and many more that adorned his temples. He was not old enough to be my father as Gerick nearly was, nor was he a young dwarf. He was in his prime whereas I was considered to be an old maid by dwarfishstandards and should have been married the last fifty years. I had refused match after match and now was cornered into an engagement. I was past my prime birthing years by at least ten years and had a few grey hairs myself. I never felt more worthless. I could not craft, I probably could not bear children, and I had a temper a mile long.

“I am sure I can handle this, my lord. If you let me go to Oin myself then I will not stain anything.” I looked around the window seat to make sure I had not got a drop of blood on the pillows or the nice fluffy blanket.

“I do not care two figs if you stain anything; you are staying where you are.” He scolded. That sounded like a very grandmother things to say for someone like Thorin Oakenshield to say. For some reason I found that funny. My emotions were all over the place… it needed to stop. I took a deep breath to regain some of my composure.

“Of course you popped those flimsy elf stiches.” Oin barked while bursting into the king’s sitting room. Thorin jumped in surprise and applied enough pressure to my wound to cause me to wince. “Now let me see here.” He shoved the king over taking his spot on the chair. “Do you have a death wish, by chance?” He squinted at me as he looked at the damage I caused. Thorin had looked away as the wound “Because you have a blatant disregard for your own safety.” He mumbled in Khuzdul as he took out his needle and thread and set to stitching. I did not reply to his reprimand as I was too busy focusing on how tightly I could grip my hands on the fluffy blanket. I hated stitches. But he was done in no time and made me promise that I would be more careful

“I canna keep dropping everything every time you have a small scratch, now can I?” I sighed and nodded then he left muttering about being a personal maid. Dwalin stayed in the room with his arms folded over his chest. He looked more murderous than usual.

“Are you still displeased with me, Dwalin?” I asked while fiddling with the mostly empty sleeve where my right arm should be.

“Not as much as I should be. You have explained yourself well, lass, but that does not mean that I am happy with the road you chose. I am not so easy to kill as you may think, nor would I have given away where you were. But that is in the past and I cannot change any of it.”

“Moodiness does not become you, cousin.” Thorin gave him a goblet filled with what was probably hard alcohol. Dwalin flicked the King under the mountain on the head in resentment for the “moody” remark. I gingerly got up and hide my smirk aspoured myself a glass of water.

“So, we are feasting with elves tonight. Are there any rules I should follow? I inquired sipping the cool mountain water slowly. To be honest I did not want to go at all.

“Don’t kill any of them would be preferable.” Balin said coming into the room looking annoyed as we had just left him to play diplomat as we stalked from the room. He was about fit to be tied. I tried to find some remorse but came up empty.

“Can’t make any promises.” Both Thorin and I muttered at the same time. We looked at each other and smirked.

“Bah! None of that! I just spent the longest twenty minutes of my life appeasing the most arrogant creature. I will not have you two lummoxes undo all of my hard work. Despite what we may think of them it does behoove us to be on good terms with the elves of Mirkwood.” Balin grabbed a goblet of his own and filled it to the brim with hard liquor. I rolled my eyes, but conceded his point. I may not like the elves, but making them our enemy again was just plain stupid. We had lost enough.

Fili and Kili chose that moment to burst into the room.

“Doesn’t anyone knock anymore?” Thorin grumbled, “It is my room after all.”

“There is going to be a party! Who cares about knocking at a time like this?” Kili jumped on to the couch I had settled on. I awkwardly smacked him aside the head as his arm brushed my stump. He barley blinked.

“Get off that couch before I cause you serious injury.” Thorin’s voice sent shivers down my spine at the danger level therein. I saw the color drain slightly from Kili’s face. He got up as carefully as possible and took the other seat next to Fili. I was both jealous and annoyed. Even at the height of anger, I could not instill that kind of fear in anyone.

“Would anybody be outraged if I did not go to the feast tonight?” I asked thinking of all the dancing and talking with dwarves and elves alike. I was drained enough already. Besides, no one would want me to scold the king of the woodland realm for a second time in one day…which was bound to happen if I was in his general vicinity.

“If I must suffer, so must you.” Balin glared at me over the top of his cup. He was quite comical in his rage.

“Think of it as your punishment.” Thorin had the gall to smirk at me.

“You have to go, see! Who else is going to dance with me?” Kili exclaimed looking as if I personally insulted him by even mentioning it. It may have been my imagination but I saw a flicker of anger cross Thorin’s face at this declaration.

“I am sure there are plenty of Darrow Dames for you to prance with, Prince. Not to mention that I am your uncle’s betrothed. It would be unseemly of me to dance with you and ignore my intended, now wouldn’t it? Not to worry though, I will find you a suitable dance partner, Kili.” By the end he looked slightly mollified.

“What about me? Will you find someone for me?” Fili piped up irritated it would seem that his brother was getting special attention.

“What am I, a matchmaker?! You’ll have no trouble with the ladies at all, Goldilocks. Not with that silver tongue of yours.” I said recalling several of the times that we stopped in human towns on the way here and he charmed each and every woman that talked with him. He had no need of my services. He was beyond my help.


	4. Betrothal Banquets and other Mishaps

I was shuffled back to my rooms by a persistent Jade so that I could be fitted to the gown I was to wear tonight. Apparently it was one of Dis’s betrothal dresses. She insisted that I take it as a wedding gift from her. I sighed deeply as Jade pinned the empty sleeve to my side. It was heavy with sapphires of deepest blue and accented with diamonds. She was much more endowed than me and had both of her arms so it needed some work, but I had every confidence in Jade and the two other handmaids that were brought in for the task. There was a time I could have done it by myself.

The handmaids announced it would be finished within the hour and I was then gently taken to the other room for my hair and makeup to be done. Jade did her best with my embarrassingly sparse side burns to make them look fuller, but I knew it would be a lost cause. I had been teased about my all-around lack of facial hair since I came of age. I had seen mortal men with better. I had to admit that by the end of her primping I looked passable. Not fit for Thorin’s bride by any means, but not repellent as I normally did.

The hour flew by and the next thing I knew I was shoved into the dress and slippers. I felt as if I was a snail that had crawled into an ill fitted shell. I did not belong here. I was meant for the cave that I had made my own on the boarder of the Shire, not the majestic halls of Erabor. But here I was. There was no point in getting homesick now. I had left that life knowing that my chances of seeing it again were slim. I sighed again as Jade made her finishing touches to my appearance.

“You should enjoy yourself this evening, Jade. As my thanks for making me look presentable, I give you and the other handmaids the night off.”

“But, my lady…”

“No Buts, thank you. Just enjoy yourselves, alright.” Jade blushed and the other two handmaids tittered and then exploded with joy. “Go, make yourselves ready.” And they were gone in a flash Jade being the last to leave and sheepishly close the door behind them.

I settled back down into my comfy chair waiting for my escort that I had been told would fetch me. I poured myself some water and waited.

It wasn’t long until there was a tentative knock at the door. My escort must have arrived. I wonder which one of them drew the short straw. I opened the door myself after trying to open it with a hand that no longer existed. I cursed under my breath, but the door finally opened to reveal Balin dressed in deep burgundy velvet. He had an opal tear drop earring on one side a ruby stud on the other. He looked fantastic.

“It is normally the right of the father to escort his daughter to her betrothal banquet, but as the eldest of the company that honor falls to me. Balin, at your service, my lady.” He bowed his snow white head with his right hand over his heart and his left outstretched to take my hand.

“I am sure you are thrilled to be by my side this evening.” I said sarcastically to hide the fact that I was all at once struck with the stupid longing for my father to be the one to take me.

“I was sincere when I said it was my honor.” He replied calmly looping my arm in his. “I’ll have you know there was quite the ruckus as to who would be the one to be your escort. I won by default as Thorin got tired of the noise and said that I was the most fitting.” His smile looked absolutely devious at that moment.

“Something tells me you planned it that way.” I said dryly not being able to stifle the chuckle that came after my statement. We turned down yet another corridor and I was already hopelessly lost again.

“I may have been the one to bring up the subject with everyone in front of Thorin.” He smirked.

“You are a cunning Darrow and a sly politician.” I side eyed him realizing just how much thought he put into this.

“Why thank you, my lady. It also means that I get to privilege of keeping you at the elf king separated. ”

“I pity you.” I laughed.

“Funny, that was Thorin’s response as well.” Balin chuckled as he proceeded to take me down a long flight of stairs. I could hear music floating in the air, but I knew that we were still a ways away from the grand ballroom of Erabor. We were getting closer and closer to the throne room and the area’s most affected by Smaug as I was beginning to recognize my surroundings a little. I recognized the great hall as it was bustling with people. But I kept having flashbacks of the last time I was there with charred skeletons and scattered gems. It was now bursting with life and the warm glow of the fires that were not made by a raging dragon.

Half way down the stairs I realized that a large group of dwarves were staring at Balin and I as if we were a part of the Valar themselves.

“Is lady Peridot of the Iron Hills behind us?” I asked because even in all of my finery I didn’t look anything special.

“No, lady Peridot is in the ball room already with half a dozen suitors vying for her hand in the first dance. At least that is what she was doing when I came to get you.” Balin said dryly showing his distaste for the lady in question.

Peridot had a majestic gold ringlet beard and strong shoulders. She could craft just about anything she put her mind to as well, she was a fine catch as far as her accomplishments go. However, there was not a creature vainer than her. She and Thranduil were made for each other in that regard.

Peridot at one time was courting my oldest brother Bern, the crown prince of the Firebeards. Everyone, including him, thought that she was a fine dwarven lady, yet I was not convinced in the least. Her head was full of fluff and opinions of her father and whatever may impress, or flatter, my brother. I found her to be insipid, vapid and utterly lacking in free thought and originality. She maybe a good craftswoman but she was just an ornament for her future husband. She felt empty.

Thankfully that little stint with Peridot was not enough for my brother to marry her as he fell in love with a mithril craftswoman, Rani. She had spunk and a mind of her own and she was real. She was not bred to just be arm candy for her future husband. Rani had goals and dreams of her own and was as strong in will enough to be worthy to be the next queen of Belegost. She had my respect, but she was not really aware of my existence as I was always cooped up, by my father for speaking out of turn and refusing suiters.

As we entered the ballroom I tried to ignore the feeling of the hairs on the back of my neck raising as every eye turned to look at us. This is what claustrophobia must feel like. There were too many eyes and too many bodies for my liking. I scanned the room for Thorin only to find him with Peridot. She was tugging him to the dance floor in the most coquettish way with arm wrapped around his so that her ample bosom was touching him. I wanted to run back to my room and hurl. What was Thorin doing? To dance with another woman at his betrothal banquet was to tell the world that the future marriage was an open one. I was not willing to submit to that sort of thing. There was a reason I refused so many past suiters…this was one of the many reasons. 

All at once I wanted to drag her away from him by her hair and obliterate her and the next I wanted to slap him. But over all I did not want to be here. Death on the battlefield would have been at least dignified. To be in an open marriage with a king was to merely be a part of his harem. I would be his wife or I would leave. I do not share in this instance. I will not live that life of humiliation.

Balin had not faltered in his steps to bring me to him nor had he said a word about Peridot. I steeled myself for the coming storm for I would not be silent about this neither would I allow myself to let the flood of angry words pour from me with the violence that I felt within. I would be dignified. I am a princess and it was time I acted again as such. I knew my worth and it was far better than this, even as damaged as I am. I did not look at Thorin as we came up next to them.

Peridot was wearing the yellows and greens of her namesake. The color looked like a ball of snot in my opinion. Her golden hair tumbled down like a silken waterfall and her jasper green eyes sparkled. She was what a queen was expected to look like. Her beautiful beard was braided and adorned with emeralds. She was stunning and everything I was not. Dwarven perfection.

“My lady Peridot it is so good to see you.” I said calmly not meaning a word of it. She smiled at me coyly and tightened her arm around Thorin’s squishing her ample bust further on to his arm. Ugh.

“Princess Y/N. It is good to see you as well, but I cannot talk with you right now as I am going to dance with King Oakensheild.” She smiled demurely up at me. She knew very well what she was doing.

Like heck you are.

“If you would excuse me lady Peridot, I never agreed to a dance. This is my betrothal banquet, after all.” Thorin extricated himself from her as if her head had transformed into a Warg. If I had been in a better mood I would have laughed at the panicked look on his face.

“Surely you are not serious.” She said indignantly. Looking between us as if we were the greatest joke of a couple.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked keeping my tone in check.

“Thorin Oakensheild the king under the mountain is binding himself permanently to you? A shamed dwarven princess without a dowry or a hand with which to craft one. I thought the rumors a jest. Surely you want a real wife…one who can actually contribute to the relationship.” She fluttered her eyelashes at Thorin as if she were the one receiving insults and needed to be protected. It was as if she slapped me in the face. I truly wanted to cry.

“I think I am done here.” I replied with my chin up and shoulders straight. I began to walk away toward the banquet room. Thorin and Balin looked on dumfounded as if they could not believe the poison coming out of her mouth.

“And now she runs away.” Peridot had the audacity to roll her eyes. Thorin took a quick step forward as if he was going to strangle her just as I walked past him. I put my left hand on his shoulder stopping him before he did something stupid. I did not turn around to look at her as I spoke.

“Lady Peridot, do not think me a coward for not listening to you. I just do not think anything you have to say is worth my time. Have a good evening and enjoy yourself.” 

“How dare you!?” She screeched. My steps did not hesitate on their path the dwarves that had heard the entire conversation parted like a stick of butter for a hot knife. “I invoke Ranker…right here and now.” That made me stop in my tracks. I sighed deeply. Ranker was to be invoked only once per couple and it was for males to participate not females. This was ludicrous.


	5. A Much Needed Talk

~

The ballroom was utterly silent and Thorin looked as if he was ready to start spitting fire, but he remained silent for this was not his fight, but mine alone. Balin had remained by his side to make sure that his temper stayed in check.

The eyes of foreign dignitaries of elves and men all looked on with baited breath. Thranduil looked as if this was the best thing to ever happen at a party. He looked like a petty dwarfling girl as he sipped his goblet smugly. I imagined him with pigtails for a second and fought the urge to laugh. I looked to Peridot instead to ground me.

“I shall take your challenge, although it is not within the old laws that I should do so since Ranker has already taken place with two male contenders and the King under the mountain chose me as his betrothed. So, therefor this is just a duel invokedby a petulant child.” She tried to interrupt at that. I raised my one hand and let her see just how angry I was as I looked her in the eye. “It is impolite to interrupt.” I paused. “I will not have it here and now. It shall be at dawn in the training grounds and bring your sword, lady Peridot. If you do not show I shall mark you as the coward.” I turned my back on her again and walked into the banquet hall and out on to one of the small closed off alcoves. Fortunately, it was devoid of people and I allowed myself to feel all of what she said even if it was only for a moment. Out the small window it was bloody snowing, of course. I took that moment just to breathe and think through the mess I had just signed myself up for.

I was just as adept at wielding a sword with my left hand as I had been with my right, thankfully. This duel would not kill me. I had learned to fight from a young age as it was proper for a dwarven princess to know how to take care of herself in a battle. Being a paranoid princess I practiced equally with both hands.

“Why are you hiding? You were fantastic.” Kili of course appeared when I wanted to be alone. The lad had an uncanny sense of timing. Apparently a few stray tears had escaped my resolve as he freaked out as soon as I met his face. He quickly pulled me into a hug.

“That horrible woman has made you cry. Just make sure that you return the favor tomorrow, alright Y/N.” He awkwardly patted me on the back unsure of how to comfort me.

“I will be fine in just a minute. I am not normally like this.” I said while reaching up to wipe away my tears.

“I know what you are normally like, hard as nails and tough as mithril. She must have hit a nerve.” He said pulling back and looking me in the eye.

“She hit all of them. What she said was the truth.”

“I will have none of that.” He scolded as he lifted my chin up. “That Dame is a viper and a cat. Uncle chose you and loves you, although he is horrible at showing it. You should have seen him once he woke up in the tent hospital. He said, ‘I refuse to rest until I have seen her.’ He was frantic until he was brought to the elf tent to see you.”

“Since when did he know that I was a female? I thought only Dwalin had known?” I felt my eyes go as big as saucers.

“I knew when we arrived at Rivendell and the elves insisted that you have your own room.” I jumped as Thorin once again interrupted a private conversation with Kili.

“Good. I can go now.” Kili awkwardly bobbed his head and slipped out of the curtain. I chuckled inwardly, but quickly brought myself back to the conversation at hand.

“You knew all this time? Why didn’t you kick me out?” The idea that he knew full well what I am and still let me stay was baffling.

“Dwalin and I had a long conversation about it that evening. We knew that you had no other place to go and you had been an invaluable part of the company up to that point. Also, Dwalinkind of adopted you as kin ever since you saved him from that pack of Wargs. He made the point that as your only known family he was to protect you and he would be unable to do so if I sent you away or made you stay with the elves.” He took my hand at that point and placed a pocket handkerchief in my palm.I chuckled a little seeing as he gave Bilbo such a hard time for one of these.

“It is that bad, huh? I must look hideous.” I asked dabbing under my eyes hoping I had not messed up all of the girl’s hard work.

“You are as beautiful as ever.” Seeing Thorin’s smile again made me giddy, but I ignored the compliment. He was just saying it to be kind.

“I have noticed that you hardly ever look me in the eye.”

That would be because you could hurt me on an emotional level.

I kept that to myself, of course. Looking people in the eye was rare for me even if the person posed no threat. Better to keep your head down and hope that no one noticed you. Better to be safe than sorry.

“Well, that would be because I find direct eye contact to be terrifying. They say that eyes are the window to the soul, my king, and that you can read the truth within them. What if I do not wish to know the truth and a person’s soul is private. There is also the fact that some take it to be a way of demonstrating dominance by making eye contact. As I have been on the bottom of the food chain since birth, I think it is better not to ruffle any feathers.” I smiled and tried to play it off.

“How do you read people then? Looking them in the eye is the surest way to know what they are about.” He said leaning against the pillar.

“I read their body language. Tight shoulders are a sign of anger or stress. I look where their feet are pointing to see who they are drawn to in a conversation. I see confidence if their arms are placed on their hips and if they are closed off to something or someone if they are crossed over their chest. This skill has kept me from being killed in the past. I can read a room without drawing too much attention to myself. Looking someone in the eye has only ever provoked a fight for me in the past. Better to keep my head down so nothing bad happens.” I fidgeted with the empty sleeve of my dress. 

“You have had a very poor education on how you should be treated. I think it has affected how you read another’s body language.” He looked saddened and the muscle in his jaw clenched. He looked to the window and out to the stars and the falling snow.

“It is better to err on the side of caution in my experience.” I said still hoping that if I shrugged it off he would drop the subject too.

“I am not going to hurt you so there is no need for caution.” He said it so simply.

“Oh, I am afraid that you could hurt me more than anyone.” My hand flew to my mouth as I realized I had said that out loud. Crap.

He turned back to face me. He took a step closer and pulled my hand away from my mouth and lifted it up to his lips. The kiss he placed there was so light that it felt as if a butterfly’s wings had brushed the back of my hand. I felt the blush descend on my face as if I was a rapidly boiling tea kettle. I prayed to the Valar that it was too dark for him to see me clearly.

“I may have said and done somethings in madness that have made you lose your confidence in me. But I swear on my life, that you saved, that I will never hurt you.” I felt more tears try their best to break the floodgates. I pulled my hand slowly out of his.

“What if I allowed myself to love you? What then? What if you wake up and want children one day? What if I am not enough for you? I have never been enough for anyone, Thorin. What if you die before me? If you truly are my One, then how on earth will I be able to go on without you? You would destroy me with love and I would never be able to recover. Don’t make me promises like that that you cannot keep, Thorin.” I turned away from him and sat down on the bench below the window. I could still see his boots in my peripheral vison. He seemed agitated which was only fair as I had dropped all of that on him. He was going to leave me alone now. I was too much of a mess to take him up on his offer of protection and the glimmering hope of love.

I did not see him coming as my eyes were closed and my heart was beating too fast for me to hear him. He knelt before me and I wanted to stay and run all at the same time. He lifted me chin gently and looked deep into my eyes.

“You are letting fear of ‘what if’s’ ruin a chance at happiness, Y/N. I am not going anywhere. I do not need an heir as Fili is mine already. You are exceedingly more than enough for me. Who knows which one of us would die first? I cannot see the future and I am not about to ask an elf who can for the answer. But if you will have me, I will have no other.” He did not waver in eye contact, it was piercing as ever. His calloused hand under my chin was the lightest touch as if the smallest move from me would knock it from its place.

“You cannot possibly mean this.” I whispered it softly as I wanted to believe him so badly. I felt the hope I had been trying to trample since this morning come back with full force. There was no shadow of a lie in his eyes. “You will take me as I am?” I reached out and tentatively touched his cheek with my hand.

“Yes, because I love you.” He smiled and the next thing I knew I was hugging him around his neck and crying and laughing at the same time. I apparently surprised him because he lost his balance and we tumbled on to the floor, both laughing. I looked at him as he was full of joy. It just might be worth all the possible risk in the world if we could have moments like this. I did not bother getting up but put my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. For once in my life, I was happy.

“Ah! We will have none of that now. No hanky-panky until after the wedding.” Balin of course chose that moment to come into the alcove and ruin everything.

“Believe it or not this was an accident.” I said flustered and smoothing out my dress.

“Uh huh, sure it was.” Balin said dryly.

“As your king I could have you kicked out so I could resume embracing my fiancé.” Thorin said rather too smugly for a dwarf lying on his back on the floor.

“And I could remind you, my king that I am acting as her father for the duration of her engagement to you.” He smiled sarcastically down at Thorin. He then turned and addressed me. “As long as you two promise to behave I will allow him the honor of escorting you to your room later this evening. I of course will be following you so none of this nonsense happens again. Now if you are ready dinner is to be served shortly, lass.”

“Don’t I get to escort her to the table?” Thorin scrambled to his feet.

“No, that is your punishment. She will however be sitting right next to you for the duration of the evening, so give me none of your lip.” I calmly took Balin’s offered arm as it was pointless to argue with him when he was being this stubborn. Thorin huffed and followed after us into the banquet hall.

“You will be happy to know that I told Lady Peridot’s father about her duel in the morning. He is not pleased. I would be surprised if she showed.”

“You wily devil, did you seriously tattle on her to her father?” I laughed.

“Why of course. She was out of line and she deserved the talking to that I over-heard as her father dragged her from the ballroom by her ear.”

“You are the best.” I smiled and kissed him on his cheek.

“I better be getting one of those soon.” I heard Thorin grumble behind me.

“If Balin allows it I will give you one when you leave me at my room.” I smiled at him over my shoulder. He looked at me as if I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. I blushed and he smiled at my response to his stare.

“I will try to wait patiently.”

Was it hot in here?


	6. Allowing the Heart a Chance

As we approached the table Bilbo appeared and I whooped with delight in seeing him again. He was very happy to see me alive and well and I was all at once stunned to see that something about him was different. As I thought more about it he had been changing from the sweet innocent hobbit from Bag End. Was it the encounter with the trolls? No, it had to be when he got separated from us in Goblin town. The changes themselves were fine, but for some reason I felt a sense of foreboding. I shook it off. Battle and blood changed people. There was nothing new about that.

Dis came forward and re-introduced herself. She was just like her sons. A mountain full of trouble and witty remarks, she was just as I remembered her to be. She had been suggested when my brother first started looking for a wife. She was sent with a chaperone and it went swimmingly until she challenged my father’s personal guard to an arm wrestling contest and beat them all soundly. My brother thought it was a good joke until he tried and instantly failed against her. She was marked of the suitable list as she was considered ‘too wild’ as my father put it.

She sat on the other side of Thorin for the banquet and talked to him nonstop. I was sandwiched between Thorin and Balin. Balin was busy talking to some of the dignitaries and I was happy thatI was able to secure a spot for Bilbo across from me so I could talk to him about hobbit agriculture. Hobbits are passionate about things that grow and we talked in depth of growing potatoes and carrots. I talked to him about ideas for making Erebor self-sufficient. He talked a lot about soil types and I brought up the concept of a greenhouse and if it could work in Erebor.

“There needs to be sunlight for things to grow.” The hobbit lamented.

“What if there was a way we could redirect sunlight.” I set down my turkey leg and drummed my fingers on the table.

“How, you would need a reflective surface much larger than the greenhouse for it to work.” Bilbo was just as deep in thought as I was.

“What is this about redirecting sunlight?” Balin ask startling both of us out of our contemplation.

“We are thinking of ways for Erebor to not need food from the outside world. And if we get it to work correctly you will be able to grow food in the depths of winter.” Bilbo daintily dabbed his face with his napkin. Maybe he hadn’t changed that much… still smug.

“Tell me everything, Master Bilbo!” Balin demanded. And with that I lost my conversation partner. I returned my focus to my turkey leg, but once it was finished I was board. There was to be even more dancing once dinner was over but I was unsure if I could keep myself awake. I put my hand in my lap and just started people watching. But I could still feel my eyelids start to get heavy. It didn’t matter that Madam Cork of the Iron hills had an anvil as a head piece in her hair. It was a small anvil, to be sure, but it was still unorthodox and her neck must be killing her. It was still was not enough to keep my brain alive.

I was just starting to nod off when I felt Thorin take my hand. I was immediately awake. My heart was pounding as if all of the dwarves in the world struck the ground in synchronization. I glanced down and my hand disappeared into his. He absentmindedly traced lazy circles on my wrist. I tried to play it off just in case anyone was watching me, but I knew I was blushing.

“You know that I have to dance one dance with you at least before I can escort you back to your room.” He whispered in my ear. I shivered slightly as his breath tickled my ear.

“Well, my brain is dead and Balin stole the person I was talking to and you have been talking non-stop to your sister. By the looks of it you two have not really had the chance to talk much.”I let him keep my hand although it was doing weird things to my heart.

“She arrived late last night.” I glanced at Dis and was able to see that she was probably just as tired as I was.

“You know you don’t have to lean in so much or whisper so quietly. It is not like anyone is listening in on our conversation.” I remarked as he had not moved away from me.

“What fun would that be? Besides, I like seeing how far your blush travels.” His lips were so close to my ear, he was nearly kissing it.

“You are the biggest jerk.” I laughed breathily.

“I can’t take my eyes off of you two for a second, now can I?” Balin rolled his eyes. “Well, since I cannot seem to stop you two why don’t you both start the dancing? If you do that then all that pint up energy will be useful.” He waved us away as if HE was dismissing us. The gall of that dwarf! He took his adopted roll a little too seriously. 

“I think this position of power has gone to his head.” I whispered back to Thorin forgetting that his face was close. My nose brushed his cheekbone. The warmth I saw ignite in his eyes could rival all of Erebor’s forges combined.

“If you two would please show some decorum. We have all just eaten and the sappy look you two are giving each other is enough to give an elf a stomachache. ” Dis said affecting a mother’s voice. Her eyes were laughing at us even if her tone was not.

“That is rich coming from a Dame that made out with her husband at the alter when they said ‘You may kiss the bride.” Throrin replied without looking away from me. “It was disgusting.” He chuckled.

“It was my wedding day.” She harrumphed. “I was finally able to show the world how much I loved him.” Thorin turned to her and laughed pretty much in her face.

“Trust me, you showed too much.” Thorin gagged. “I may never get that mental image out of my head.” He lamented as only an older brother could. Someone stood before us and cleared his throat.

“Will you please start the dancing, uncle?” Kili chose that moment to appear from where ever he had been sitting. He was asking too nicely. He looked like trouble.

“What poor lass promised to dance with you?” I asked in a saccharine voice.

“I’ll have you know her name is Jade and she is absolute epitome of loveliness.” He pointed and I saw my shy young maid blushing so red that the color would shame Shire tomatoes. I looked at her and she looked about ready to bolt.

“Are you harassing the poor thing? She looks as if she is ready to run at any moment.” Dwalin said on the other side of Balin. Kili actually blushed.

“I will have you know that I have behaved like a perfect gentleman this evening.”

“For once.” Fili interrupted popping up by his brother’s shoulder as if out of thin air. “Umm what are we talking about exactly? Ohh! Here is where all the good cheesy dinner rolls ended up.” He snagged the last one of them off the tray that was before me. I had plans for that dinner roll. I lamented inwardly and wished him indigestion. I sighed.

“Your brother wants them to start the dancing so that he can woo a fine dwarven lass.” Dwalin said still munching on a turkey leg.

“So where is the poor girl?” He gave his eyebrows a waggle.

“Not you too!” Kili moaned.

“She is over there.” I said pulling my hand reluctantly from Thorin’s so that I could point her out. “She is talking to Bard’s eldest daughter, Sigrid. Who I must say is also very pretty tonight.” I laughed as I remembered how Fili had flirted with her and how quickly she had shut him down. I don’t think anyone else saw the faraway look that came to Fili’s eyes as his eyes landed on Sigrid, but I did. The boy was smitten and had been since nearly their first encounter.

“Very pretty.”

“Hands off! I saw Jade first!!” Kili hit his brother on his shoulder.

“Who said anything about Jade? Good luck with your ventures this evening, Ki. I have my own prize to catch.” With a wink and a cocky smile Fili was making his way over to them.

“We should probably start the dancing before those two expose themselves to ridicule.” I chuckled.

“If my lady wishes to dance, I am ready.” Thorin said standing up and pushing back his large chair so that he could assist me with mine and take my hand. I once again felt claustrophobic as every eye landed on us. I should probably get used to it if I was going to marry Thorin. Marry Thorin? What dream am I leaving in? Did I actually die in the cold snow that day and this is heaven?

“I am sure you know the Betrothal Dance of Dain?” He smiled as he led me out into the middle of the dance floor. People had started to follow us out and were lining the wall to watch us.

“Yes, not to be confused with the Bridal Dance of Durin.” I said, smiling.

“Good.” He smirked as the music began to play. The next thing I knew he was lifting me by my waist while spinning in place. I put my hand on his shoulder and reminded myself to scold him for surprising me like that once we were alone.

“That is the traditional opening step.” He laughed and I could feel it reverberate through his shoulder and to my hand.

“Like hell it is. Balin looks like you cursed his family name.” I shook my head and Balin looked as if any second he would have smoke coming from his ears.

”Very well, from this point on I promise to behave better.” He let me back to my feet and started the real opening steps that I was familiar with.

”The look on your face I have seen before. Kili wore that look on his face before he put a harmless Gardener snake in Ori’s boot.” I replied tersely while placing my hand on the top of his shoulder. He only chuckled and put his hand on my waist.


	7. Stubborn, Pigheaded Dwarves

After that the dance was pretty uneventful aside from Thorin holding me closer than what was considered the proper distance between dance partners and he added a deep dip to the final step that brought his face dangerously close to mine. Balin was going to kill him for sure.

I had to talk to a bunch of really important people while trying not to yawn out of complete exhaustion. It irritated me that I had slept for a week when everyone else was hard at work and then a half day more and still felt dead on my feet. I had no right to be.

Just as I thought the line of ambassadors was done, Thranduil was standing before me. I cursed my dumb luck. Balin had taken up to talking with Bilbo, totally engrossed with the Greenhouse idea and left me to my own devices. Some buffer he was.

“You look halfway decent for a dwarf.” He quipped.

“Funny, I was going to say the same for you.” I drank a little sip of my wine and tried to ignore him.

“That is fair.” He actually smirked. “I think we started out on the wrong foot. I am Thranduil, King of the Woodland realm, and you are?” he put out his hand that wasn’t holding a glass of some of his potent wine. 

I squinted up at him. Could I forgive him? Could he actually be trying to start over? Well, even if he wasn’t couldn’t afford to miss this opportunity if he was in earnest. I put my hand out as well thinking that he was going to shake it like in dwarven custom…but he is an elf and he kissed the back of my hand.

“Ew. Thanks for that.” I said while wiping my hand on my dress. “I’ll have you know I am only down to one of these and I would prefer it to not be infected with elf germs.” I said while holding up my hand to about eye level to check for any sign of disease.

“Are all of you dwarves so over-dramatic or is it just you?” He laughed quietly catching on to the fact that I was kidding.

“I think we learned it from the elves.” I said dryly. That got a genuine smile out of him.

“Elves are not dramatic…only right.” He said with a wink as he lifted his goblet again.

“I could think of a few wrong moves.”

“I’m sure you could.” He rolled his eyes.

We jabbed and heckled each other good naturedly for at least ten minutes before anyone noticed that I had been left alone in the presence of an elf that I had insulted just that morning. Dwalin came over and gave us both the once over. The elf king was borderline drunk, which was impressive for his species. I had only been taking sips of mine so that I could stay sober.

“Is everything alright over here?” He asked eyeing us both suspiciously as if we were plotting the overthrow of the entirety of Arda.

“Does it look like we are talking civilly to one another? No. So, everything is fine.” I said with a smile.

“I think one would be worried if we had anything nice to say to each other.” The elf king laughed and his wine sloshed around dangerously nearly falling out of his goblet. I did not know how much more he could drink he had had it refilled six times while he had been talking to me. If he had been any other creature of middle earth he would have been passed out on the ground by now.

“Father, I think it is time that we retired to the rooms that we have been given for the night.” It was a good thing that Thranduil’s son was so uptight. In all honesty he only looked like his father. It was the only reason that I gave him the simiril necklace. Legolas nodded at me good-naturedly and bid both Dwalin and I goodnight as he took his father to his rooms.

“You look like you are ready to pass out at any moment. I’ll go get Thorin so that he can take you to your rooms.” I nodded at Dwalin and he was off on his mission to extract poor Thorin from the mob of emissaries of the Dwarven race. I thanked the stars that only really had to suffer through a few that were brave enough to approach me. Dwalin had taken to shoving people aside so that he could get closer to Thorin. I chuckled as I leaned against the wall and hopped that Dwalin would retrieve him soon.

At that moment someone roughly hit me on my good arm. I blinked and saw that Peridot had somehow come back to the party. She looked tearstained and ready to kill. How did she still look pretty?

“I will see you in the morning, trash.” And with that she left. I sighed deeply. I really had hoped that she would have dropped it. Well, I had a reason to get up in the morning it seemed. But I had been looking forward to sleeping in.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Fili asked placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Just fine, Fi. I have a duel in the morning.” I said with an eye roll.

“I will be your second, if you like?”

“I appreciate the gesture, but I am not backing away from this fight.” I smiled up at him and sighed.

“I am pretty sure that Oin is going to have a problem with you over exerting yourself so soon after getting stabbed and coming out of a coma. Not to mention Thorin, just saying.” He of course said very loudly as Dwalin and Thorin approached.

“I doubt I could stop her even if I tried.” Thorin said as he walked up. “I’ll make sure that she goes to bed and gets plenty of rest to put that ill begotten union of an orc and a goblin in her place in the morning.” He took me by the arm and started to lead me away from the room, but I turned my head back to talk to Fili. I found Balin, Dwalin, and Fili following us. Sheesh you would think that they didn’t trust us by ourselves. I let it go.

“How did it go with Sigrid? Did you strike out again?” I waggled my eyebrows cheekily at him. His face was a mixture of despair and hope as he sighed.

“I convinced her to dance a single dance with me, but after that she hung around Thranduil’s twice cursed spawn.” He scowled.

“Maybe she has never seen an elf before?” I put in because she had certainly not seen a dwarf before we all came to Laketown. She had taken to all of us quite quickly, but I still remembered the bashful look on her face after she had shut down Fili for the first time. He definitely had a chance with her. She at the very least thought him handsome.

“Maybe.” He perked right up after that, all smiles again.

“Were has Kili gotten off to?” Thorin asked looking around the ballroom just before we exited.

“He is over there talking with Jade.” Fili made his voice all singsong-y on her name. As if he hadn’t been all starry-eyed about his own girl just seconds before.

“Isn’t that your handmaid, Y/N?” Balin asked with an arched brow.

“Yes, why do you ask?” I side eyed him.

“The Dwarven council is going to have a field day tomorrow when they find a lowly handmaid has caught the eye of the youngest prince.” He moaned in consternation. I felt my hand tighten on Thorin’s arm, but not enough to hurt him.

“What of it? She may not be of high rank, but from what I have seen she has a good heart to at least give her a chance.”

“Royalty must marry royalty, Y/N. As for her heart, you have only known her for a day a lot can be concealed in just a day.”This was out of character for Balin. Did he hit his head?

“That may be true but you are not giving her a proper chance, Balin.” I snapped and turned to face him. By this point we were in the great hall and Thorin and I stood atop the first stair.

“What would Erebor hope to gain if he actually won her?” Balin replied as if it was the most logical next thought. I was entirely baffled and disappointed in him. I could practically feel the tension from both Dwalin and Fili and I hoped they didn’t agree with him.

“Gain?” I whispered. I felt myself get more and more riled up as I thought about it. “Of course, you would go to gain. We are now the richest dwarves in all of Arda and you speak of getting more? Have we learned nothing? All of this is meaningless.” I gestured to the great glittering hall. “If she is worthy of him as far as being a sweet and innocent young lady, then I should hear of no objection from anyone. When did we get to be so proud? We had nothing less than two weeks ago. When did all of these riches turn us into snobs? I am ashamed of you Balin. I think we can find the way back to my room without your assistance.” I could feel the tears ready to fall. This was the one Darrow I considered to be a worthy father figure and I couldn’t bear to look at him at the moment. I turned and walked up the steps alone.

Thorin could side with who he wanted, but I hoped against hope that he was not still in some way under the gold sickness. He had been silent for the entire conversation and I felt dread turn my stomach. I was halfway down the corridor past the steps when I remembered that within these halls I was totally lost. I found a bench and sat down willing to spend the night here if I had to. However, not two minutes later someone sat next to me.

“Well, you defiantly gave him something to think about.” Thorin’s voice tickled my ear. I did not reply as I was too angry still. “Let’s get you to your room, my dear.” He took me by the hand and led me down the corridor until I lost track of the turns. After a while he spoke again.

“You are very passionate about him getting to be with the one he loves, whether it be Jade or not.”

“Of course! Females are rare enough as it is. Why should we impede the chance for love even further? Fili and Kili deserve better than that.” I was ready to go more when he put his hand on my cheek so that I would look him in the eye.

“I agree.” I felt waves of stress and worry just fall off of me. “We will give Jade a chance. If Kili loves her, I will not stop them.” I could not contain myself in that moment; I hugged him in the middle of some unknown hallway.

“Thank you.” It came out a ton more breathy than I wanted it to be. I was hugging Thorin…again. At least we didn’t end up on the floor this time. Some amount of decorum had to be maintained so I quickly extricated myself. But he was having none of it.

“You know that you have always blushed whenever I looked at you?” He pulled back slightly and pulled a wayward strand of my hair behind my ear.

“What!! No? Have I?” I thought back to Bag End when I had first seen him. Had I blushed then…? I could not for the life of me recall.

“Since Rivendell I remember enjoying making you blush on purpose as one of the only daily enjoyments that I got out of our travels.” I could feel all the blood rushing to my face at that moment as I thought back to him suggesting for us all to take a bath at Beorn’s house in the creek. Everyone had started shucking garments left and right. I remember heading quickly back in the direction of the house with a mumbled excuse on my lips keeping my head down when I ran into a shirtless Thorin. I stammered something and ran. The twinkle in his eye let me know that he was thinking of that moment as well.

“All of those things were on purpose!!!!” I shrieked as many other moments flashed back in my mind. Like when he offered to braid my hair. For a male dwarf to braid another male dwarf’s hair meant nothing, but it was a sign of commitment between a male and a female. I had gone to Bilbo and let him do it as it meant nothing to the Hobbit and he did not make my heart beat erratically. Thorin had glared at Bilbo that night and now I know why.

“Don’t say that you did not enjoy those moments.” He took my arm again and led me down another passage. I finally recognized my room’s door.

“They were confusing!” I stamped my foot like a little girl.

“Well, I enjoyed them immensely.” He smiled as he turned to face me and place his arm on the wall beside me. I could feel the blush up to my ears.

“Stop playing around, Thorin.” I gently nudged him on his shoulder.

“Who says I am playing?” He leaned in and kissed me.

And that I think is when my heart stopped for a second because in the next it seemed as if it had to make up for lost time. I blinked and Thorin was on one knee before me while holding my hand.

“Will you do me the honor of letting me braid your hair, my love?” His eyes did not once leave mine.

“Only if you allow me to braid yours.” I laughed as I stooped and put my hand on his cheek and kiss him soundly. If he was going to steal a kiss he better do it properly.


	8. A Betrothal Braid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. Thanksgiving was crazy. Also this chapter is short.

“Come in. I shall braid your hair on the couch in my little sitting room.” I took him by the hand but Thorin would not follow me in.

“Would that be proper?” He asked with an eyebrow raised. I could see that he wanted nothing more than to follow me and I could also see the sense in what he said.

“Well then, we can sit on the bench out here, but I need to grab my comb. If you will wait for me, I will be back soon.” I did my best not to stumble over my words as I had asked him to come into my room with me. If anyone else had heard I would be branded for life as a shameless hussy.

“I will always wait for you.” He smiled because he knew that he sounded sappy, but said it anyway.

“Eh! Is that what I have to look forward to?” I asked playfullytrying my best to cover up just how bashful that it had made me.I turned to run into my room, but I was still able to see the smirk on his face.

I made my way over to the vanity and found all manner of combs and brushes and I pick up a fine toothed one. As I turned back I realized that I did not have a bead to give him for his betrothal braid. It was the girl’s job to present the first gift. I would have to ask to make him one soon. I tried not to think that if this was under normal circumstances, my betrothed would be furious that I had nothing to offer but a simple braid. As it was, I hopped I could do this with one hand.

Thorin was sitting on the bench that I had indicated to him. He was inspecting something in his hand closely as if he was looking for a fault in it.

“I’m back.” I said sitting next to him. He jumped as if he had not heard me coming.

“So you are.” He stuffed whatever it was in his pocket. I was not suspicious in the slightest…I was very curious.

“Turn and I will braid a part of your hair.” I pushed in on his shoulder partly to turn him around and partly to get him to stop looking at my face. It was disconcerting and flustering. To calm myself I combed a portion of his hair so that the braid would hang by his right ear. I took a deep breath once the brushing process was completed. His hair was so soft and shiny. I wondered what he did to it to get it that way…whatever it wasn’t fair in the slightest.

I tried to do an intricate herringbone braid at first, but quickly discovered that I needed more than one hand to do so. I settled for a simple braided twist. I pulled one of the leather bindings off my own hair to tie the end of his. It was never what I wanted to give for a betrothal braid, but it would have to do.

“Your turn, my dear.” Thorin whispered in my ear. I quickly turned around as to not meet his smoldering eyes. My heart was already beating fast enough, thank you.

He combed my hair and began his braid. He was so gentle and quiet the entire time. I was sure that every breath I took was deafening. I was trying to calm myself, but I was breathing too fast. I was on a speeding stallion on my way to passing out from too much air.

After what felt like an hour he finished my braid and sat behind me for a moment. He leaned in and kissed me on the nape of my neck and I felt a shiver run down my spine…in a good way.

“Is that proper, sir?” The reprimanding tone I was going for was definitely not as harsh as I intended.

“Says the one that invited me into her room.” He chuckled as he let go of my braid and it brushed my shoulder.

“That is not what I meant and you know it. That hadn’t even crossed my mind when I offered.” I was babbling fiercely, I could feel it. Curse this dwarf that could make me babble and stammer with a sentence.

“I know your intentions were very honorable, but I fear that mine would be less so.” He hugged me from behind and kissed me on my neck again.

“I do not think you should kiss me on my neck until we are married then.” I extricated myself ungracefully from his grasp.He chuckled as I opened my door and gave a dramatic hair flip for good measure. At that moment I felt a cold bead brush my collarbone. I froze halfway through my doorway. I looked down at the bead and nearly died from shock. I had the deepest bluesapphire I had ever seen on the end of my engagement braid.

“What is this?” I whispered my brain not quite able to comprehend what was going on. Why I had received a bead? I turned around and Thorin had one hand up as if to stop whatever I was going to say.

“I think it is only fair that tradition should be different for us. You have saved my life twice in the just the last week, as far as I can recall. You deserve to be honored, my love.” He just pulled me into his arms to hug me and in that moment I never wanted to leave.

“You two have had plenty of time to say what you needed to. The lass needs to sleep, Thorin.” Dwalin stood at the end of the hall with his arms crossed over his chest. “Now, far be it from me to dictate to my king and cousin, but she has a duel in the morning to win.” There was not arguing with him there. I looked up at Thorin and sighed as I pulled away from him.

“Good night, then Gervishel.” He kissed me very formally on my hand. His eyes sparkled like a devil and I could tell that this simple parting was only because Dwalin was at the end of the corridor.

“Are you still a dwarfling to look at me so?” I muttered as he dropped my hand.

“Only in my heart which is entirely yours.” He quipped back.

“Don’t blame me for that.” I chuckled as I closed my bedroom door on both of them.


	9. The Duel

I woke up well before dawn the next morning and got myself together. Finding my old battle clothes proved to be a bit more difficult than it should have been. Why they put my perfectly good clothes in the darkest godforsaken corner of my unnecessarily large walk in closet. I had to scrounge even further to find my boots. Maybe they made me look too muchlike a boy and they decided that I might be upset if they threw them away, but banished them to the far reaches of my walk-in anyway. I sighed and got dressed. It was still far too early for even Jade to be here so I threw my clothes on to the best of my one armed ability and my hair into a tight ponytail. I left the betrothal braid out and on display and fiddled with the bead as I searched for my sword next.

After a few more minutes I realized that they had put my weapons on display as if I were never going to touch them again. My sword was on the mantel above my fireplace and my daggers placed ceremonially on the wall. I rolled my eyes and retrieved them. Of all the nonsensical places to have put them, I was not going to hand up my sword merely because I was injured. With a huff I walked out my door only to find Dwalin awake and waiting for me.

“Took you long enough to get ready, lass.” He harrumphed and started walking down the opposite way for last night. “The training grounds are this way and I have been charged to take you there this morning, if you can call this morning.”

“Did you sleep at all, Dwalin?” He normally was not this grumpy.

“I had plenty to arrange to see this morning went smoothly, thank you. So, if I am cross, it is entirely your fault.” He turned on me and pretty much growled in my face.

“It was not my intention to cause you trouble, Dwalin.” I said with my hands raised as if in surrender. He turned and muttered some more as he continued down the hall. After about a solid six minutes of silence he spoke again.

“Nice braid.” He said sourly.

“Thank you.” I smiled as it was his way of congratulating me on my betrothal. The further into the mountain the less damage I could see. Smaug had a very limited realm within Erebor it would seem and it made me realize just how much work was left to do in the great hall and ballroom area. They looked fantastic by normal standards but compared to the rest of Erebor they looked shabby and unkempt. I past ancient tapestry’s and statues. I gawked at a particular mural of the Valar and the detail with which it was crafted would astonish even the most masterful of artists. They looked like they could breathe and if you reached out to touch them, they would be warm.

“I will not wait for you.” Dwalin said as he turned a corner ahead of me. I yelped and quickly followed him. I had to slow down as that corner was actually a flight of stairs. I went down and found Dwalin at the bottom in what I assumed was the training grounds. Behind him was the entire company with Thorin around a table with food and drink.

“We figured you would want to have breakfast before trouncing that wasp.” Bomber said as He tore off a piece of bread, smothered it with jam and passed it to me.

“Also we would like to congratulate you for being foolish enough to accept the proposal from this dunderheaded dwarf.” Bofur said smugly over the top of his mug of hot apple cider. The whole group whooped and patted Thorin and I on the back and we settled into our very early breakfast. I would have eaten less but Oin insisted that I had not come even close to regaining my full strength from when I had been out of it for a week. Thorin filled up my plate and I ate it slowly and when I was not busy eating I was holding his hand.

It was just starting to get light when I got up and pulled out my sword and began stretching. I practiced my full left handed routine before the sun even rose. Just above the mountain top. More people flooded the training ground just then with Peridot in the lead and Dain not far behind her. So, he was making a statement it would seem. I shrugged it off. I did not have a penny to my name were Peridot was as rich as a queen. Of course Dain would back her. I turned my attention back to my opponent.

I had not the faintest idea of what she was wearing, but it is not what I would consider proper fighting gear. It revealed too much skin and was far too frilly. It was made out of leather, I’ll give it that, but it had obviously never seen battle and, in my opinion, I hoped it never did. What in the seven hells was she trying to prove? That she could beat me with barley any clothes on? The entire company was gaping at her as if she had just committed a cardinal sin. And to be fair the outfit was.

She looked me up and down as I sheathed my sword her eyes coming to rest on the blue sapphire bead that Thorin had given me. Jealously and anger are what I saw in her eyes. She had what, met Thorin twice in her whole life for a span of two days each? I had spent the entirety of the journey with him and had seen him at his worst. I obviously was the one that didn’t know him well enough. I rolled my eyes.

I noticed a small group of elves with Thanduil in the center. He looked on with a smirk that only he and a teenage girl could get away with. I rolled my eyes at him, the smirk got bigger. I saw Legolas look at his father and sigh deeply. I pitied him to have to keep his father in check.

“This is going to be a clean fight. As you are both females it will only be to first blood. I will have no cheating and no underhandedness from anyone present.” Dain looked at me then at Thorin. As if Thorin would cheat and as if I could. I had one hand. It made cheating nigh impossible in my case. Dain would be refereeing the duel it would seem. He was doing a horrendous job of not being biased, however.

It was required that each of the participants be given one sword, Peridot had two strapped to her back and Dain made no move to take one from her. She was given chalk for her hands to keep her grip and Dain never so much as looked my way. I made a mental note to beat him soundly later just for good measure.

“If you would meet in the middle, the duel can begin.” Dain said. He still had yet to look at me. I glanced at Thorin and it would seem that Thorin would be dealing with him later. He looked thunderous.

Before I met Peridot in the middle I put my sword into the ground for a second and picked up some of the dirt. I rubbed it into my palm and took a deep breath. I could do this. I got back to my feet and squared off against Peridot.

“I will be taking that bead before this is over.” Peridot said just loud enough for me to hear as Dain prattled on about rules.

“Over my dead body.” I replied squaring my shoulders.

“If you insist.” The smile that came to her face I could only describe as evil.

As soon as the horn was blown by Dain she launched herself at me. She tried in vain to get inside my defenses. She was using both blades at blinding speed. But what she had in speed she lacked in finesse and precision. Also her footing was not quite right. As she lunged at me I side stepped her and tripped her up. She landed ungracefully on the ground with one of her swords on the other side of the ring. Ori promptly pick it up as was the rules and it looked like Dain was squabbling with him over it. Ori did not back down and I was very proud of him.

I allowed her to get back up as tripping was not an honorable way to win. She was mad now. She screeched like one of the eagles with her sword over her head in one hand. In that moment she must have forgot everything about dueling. Her guard was so wide and entire battalion of orcs could have traipsed through them. I did not have to use my sword alone to bring her down. At the last possible second I dodged to her left and slammed my shoulder into her middle. She arched over my head as I sent her flying. She landed flat on her back with the wind knocked out of her. While she was down I kicked her sword away and then placed my foot on her right wrist making her sword hand unusable. I then brought my sword to her neck, nicking just underneath her chin.

“Do you have anything to say to me?” I asked giving her the opportunity to apologize. She promptly spit on me. I sniffed and nodded my head, but not once taking my sword away from her neck. I looked at Dain and her embarrassed father who had just arrived.

“Listen well, I am Thorin’s choice and I will not be dueling anyone else to prove it. I am the only princess of Belegost and a member of the Company. The line of Durin lives because I stepped in. I will not be insulted any further by any of you. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!” I was greeted by dead silence and fearful eyes from her father. As if I would sully my blade any further with her blood. I looked down on her and she still looked murderous. I sighed deeply and pulled my sword away from her face. She would have me killed one way or another, either by her hand or someone else’s.

“As for you Peridot, you are no longer welcome here at Erebor. If you return within my lifetime, I will see your life as forfeit. If you return after I am dead, you will be imprisoned for life. If you send assassins after me, I will see you hanged and any that took part in it. If I am poisoned, Thorin will kill you regardless if it was you behind it or not. If you even stoop to gossip about me, I will destroy your reputation. I know a great deal about you, Peridot. It would be wise of you just walk away.” It was only the last part that had her terrified. I knew what kind of person she was. She had tried trapping many a Darrow with her body and had gotten so close only for them to find out that they were not the first. That is at least what happened when she was a candidate for my brother. She used them for what she wanted at the price of sex. My own brother had given a deed to a diamond mine while they were courting. Countless other suiters had showered her with various other baubles. She was rich to be sure, but she had no class whatsoever.

Only after about thirty seconds of glaring her down did she nod her head in agreement to my terms. I sheathed my sword and walked away from her. She was crying pitifully to her father who looked plain fed up with her.

Dain just stood there like a banked fish. She had been given every advantage to win, yet still lost to me. I walked directly up to him.

“Is there anything you wish to say to me, cousin?” He finally saw the sapphire at the end of my braid and all the blood drained away from his face. I was to be Thorin’s bride whether he liked it or not. He stammered but no words came forth. “As you can see, I will not be easily daunted nor beaten, Dain. I will not be cowed into the belief that I am unworthy of your cousin Thorin merely because I am disowned. I have plenty other qualities that make up for the fact that I do not have a dowry.” I then leaned in closer to him and whispered loud enough for only him to hear. “Choose wisely next time.” I then patted him on the shoulder and made my way to Thorin.

Thorin was smiling so brightly at me you would think that it was the sun. He met me half way and pulled me into a bone crushing bear hug.

“I am so proud of you.” He whispered into my ear. Why was his voice so beautiful? I tentatively kissed him on the cheek and his grin got impossibly wider. “So, when shall we set the date?” He asked pulling back and pulling a wayward strand of hair away from my face. I stepped back and then sunk into the deepest curtsy of my life.

“Whenever my king wishes.” I said looking up at him coyly.

“Tomorrow it is.” He said lifting me up off the ground and spinning me with ease.

“Thorin, be reasonable.” Balin interrupted. “She needs a proper dress. How about two weeks, huh? Not to mention the feast that needs to be prepared…”

“I will have no more than one week.” Thorin said laughing while still holding me in his arms.

“As the king commands.” Balin said while bowing. He then looked at me. “We better get you in to see a seamstress and quick if we are to fill his majesty’s tall order.” I laughed as I took his arm and exited with him.


End file.
